there are always more logs for the fire, here

FTH request - Daisy and Jon and Lipstick
THIS IS HOW SHMERR CAN STILL WIN
Michael/Coffin pt 3 -- either lighthearted but slightly untimely shopping shenanigans, or some angst (or both)
Sasha Whosasking in the TMA apocalypse
Brexel fic (+desolation flavor)
Apocalypse World fic with Torque and Zhang
Godzilla nonfiction piece for my friend's project
Cel having post-dungeon gender feels (+Zolf)
Five Times Howard Carter Tried To Court Wilde That's It That's The Fic It Didn't Work (+eager observers Zolf and Barnes)
Sasha and Grizzop hugs (grizzop would hate quarantine)
The Unreasonable and Uneatable Amount of Bread RQG flavor
Lonelyeyes Business Dinner
TMA/GO crossover where Breekon and Hope get freaked out by the International Express Delivery Man (+reference to The Man Who Is Not Short and The Man Who Is Not Tall)
The Them angsty college-age fic I started ages ago
Aziraphale and Madame Tracy chat and are friends (+pokemon)
Warlock watches The Omen and feels things (i need to rewatch the omen for that oops)
The Unreasonable and Uneatable Amount of Cookies WTNV flavor
Jared has tea with Meat Grandma
Hamid and Azu are soft (can be incorporated literally anywhere)
Zone of Truth or Dare
JUST A LOT MORE RQG HUGS HONESTLY
Something HMC flavored but I don't know WHAT (finish that kink fic???)

... halp XD

 

EDIT: 

The Play TM (a summer project)
The HMC fic should be flavored with the new sarah jarosz songs cause they're giving me feelings
Sasha Whosasking Is Frens With The Coffin And Breekon And Hope

MORE EDITS
Fic about Gertrude and Agnes
CHILL FOREST FRENS
Hamid Azu fake marriage
Lidda

 Thinking again about how the most unbelievable part of Graduation so far has been that Fitzroy Maplecourt had an advising appointment with someone who actually challenged him when he spewed some Knight propaganda as a personal statement. I may not trust Travis's institution but I also have never had an advisor who actually pushed me when I said answers that sounded competent and that makes me feel some kinda way.

Katy Keene and Fan Participation

What do I think a book is? What can it be?

A Writer's Notebook

R+G are Dead, Spaces, and the Public Domain

absently thinking about.... choices. feeling like I'm in a position where I am actively making choices and really considering where I want my priorities to be. Maybe I'm actually learning how to evaluate stuff I want.

Interesting that at this point, original writing is so close to the bottom of the list. A few years ago that would've been unfathomable. I write fic these days, and I create rp characters, but I am barely even making passing attempts at my own original fiction.

I know that all things must pass and all, that this will likely change, and that even if it doesn't, writing as a hobby is okay, but like....

I have spent a long, long time centering my ability to write as part of my identity. And now I'm.......... not. And that's very odd.

I'm trying to commit and commit and commit to my friends in ways that I wasn't able to do, or at least didn't do, in college. I committed in so many ways, but not in an rp way, and that is also very interesting to me. Where have my priorities been. Learning that new skill was... not one. Now it is.

Thinking about how the way I specifically processed things and dealt with things has tied my brain into knots, thinking about how that's a genuine form of harm that I need to heal from even if it was entirely of my own accidental devising

Idk. I'm not sure what my point is. But internally, things feel like they're in motion.

 Things to write about/delve into soon:
-big sister feels
-religion thoughts?? (This is the Epiphany of the Moment and why im making the post)
-misc about moving....

So it is about a month and a half until I move and start grad school and, I'm excited, and nervous, but not for the reasons you might expect of me. See, the thing is, as I've been getting ready I've realized that the "school" part is such a small part of what I'm actually concerned about. And, honestly? After a life where school was always the priority, always the most important thing over my health, my socialization, my self-discovery, my hobbies, I am READY to try it again and focus on something else.

I am going to grad school because I need a space to live that's all my own, that I can invite people to. I'm going to grad school because I'm excited about the school job I've got lined up. I am going to grad school to live somewhere with better public transportation. I am going to grad school so I can find activism and arts groups and get more involved. I am going to grad school to learn how to better interact with myself and the world. Like, where I am now, I feel helpless, but in a month and a half I am going to massively increase my agency, and I'm trying to hold onto that.

People ask if I've figured out what flavor of librarianship I want to study and I've told them no, I'll see what happens when I get there. And I've only just realized that's indicative of how little that actually matters. If I get a job in a library setting, a good job, like, it barely matters what the specifics are. I AM going into librarianship because I believe in it and because it works with my available skill set; whether I end up a science librarian or a public librarian or an archivist or a library director.... it'd all be good, y'know? I know I'm going to have to find direction but I'm... not worried about it right now. I'm not.

I'm worried about living as an independent adult, I'm worried about keeping in contact with the people who I will now be farther from, especially my boyfriend, because I know we can manage, but LDRs are hard. I'm worried about falling into old, unhealthy patterns without balance. I'm worried about america falling into fascism and climate change and the world ending generally.

But what I am doing in the face of that is the best thing for me, in the moment, and me, moving forward. Is preparing myself to have experience and resources and that thought is... comforting.

I'm sure I'll enjoy the academic side of my degree; I'm me, how can I not? But I'm thinking about and prioritizing so much more to that and I am glad for it.

 I made the good but dubious decision of ordering 5 short story collections (queer flavored) from the library at once. I want then desperately now, but they'll probably all come in at once and I'll be swamped. 

Ah well. I finished M is for Magic tonight. Sunbird is still way fucked up. And i have a DWJ collection lined up next! (And the newest wayward children book). And a few more collections hanging around...

 My bf saw a fact at the bowling alley that said "leonardo da vinci invented the scissors" and misread it as "leonardo da vinci invented scissoring" and I mean he was fucking crowley so that's probably right

 I think the main reason why i'm so allured by the idea of writing erotica for a living is because a) it sounds fun, and b) i could make it queer and c) since erotica is not culturally seen as something to aspire to, it would be this tremendous satisfying "fuck you" to the culture that wants me to "make something of myself". Like imagine how satisfying it would be to tell people "ah yes, i've written a book, it's called "abs make the heart grow fonder". (that's such a lie i would never write porn about abs)

The only problem with this plan is that i write so very little erotica. It's like "aw yeah time 2 write porn" and instead i write an angsty conversation between two dumb gays. Which is not a bad thing but like... is there a mainstream publishing niche for this? Could i publish a short story collection that's just called "dumb queers talk (and don't talk) about their feelings?" I mean I'D read it, but.

 I should offer my services to weddings where people might be reluctant to dance-- for dinner and money i can hang around  awkwardly before jumping on the dance floor and making a delighted fool of myself and encouraging others to do the same. You wouldnt even have to get me drunk (though a few drinks wouldb'e enjoyed), I'm just Like That. You would, however, have to play fun music.